


you still miss me in your bones

by lilacvenus



Series: If I could do it all over again, I would. And I wouldn’t change a thing. [22]
Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, They met again after 5 years, and they never forgot each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:34:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29570391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacvenus/pseuds/lilacvenus
Summary: Newt stood in front of Thomas and put his hands on top of the brunet's chest, adjusting his tie and then the collar of his shirt."Don't worry, Tommy." He began to speak slowly. "I only mess around with guys who remind me of you." The blond confessed, looking him in the eye and turning away.
Relationships: Newt & Thomas (Maze Runner), Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Series: If I could do it all over again, I would. And I wouldn’t change a thing. [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1413310
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	you still miss me in your bones

Thomas looked tiredly at the watch on his wrist, the flight from which he had just landed departed three hours late thanks to the bad weather of the winter seasons, which caused that he had to move everything on his schedule. He had exactly thirty minutes to get to the hotel where he would be staying, collect his room key, drop off his bags, and be on time for the business appointment that would last more than two hours because of all the papers they had to check. He observed the traffic jam that surrounded the taxi he was in, and let out a tired sigh. His phone began to ring, and massaging his temple, he answered.

"Hello?" His voice sounded dubious, since he had forgotten to check the identifier before answering.

"Thomas." Brenda's voice came from the other side. "How was your flight? Have you arrived at the hotel?" The woman asked, genuinely interested.

"No, not yet." He simply answered, smiling because the taxi began to move.

"Nicholas asked if you can bring him a souvenir." Brenda mentioned, not letting silence take over the call. “He can't wait for you to come back, he's pretty excited about the game you promised to take him to.” Thomas nodded, not aware that Brenda couldn't see him, and mentally jotted down the reminder to buy the tickets.

"It's fine." Thomas replied, eyeing the cars around him.

"I wanted to tell you, my parents called and invited us to spend New Year with them." Thomas heeded the call again.

"I thought we agreed that we would spend the New Year with my family and Christmas with yours." Thomas simply answered.

“Yeah, you're right, but Nicolas' father asked him if he wants to celebrate Christmas with him, and convinced him. I just thought it would be better if my parents saw him on New Years." Thomas frowned. Of course, Nicholas' father, who abandoned Brenda the moment he found out that she was pregnant and wanted to return to his son's life when six almost seven years had already passed. He wanted to celebrate Christmas with him, and since he's not Thomas' biological son, Brenda thought the boy was more likely to miss dinner with the brunet's family.

“Brenda, I'm almost at the hotel. I'll call you later." The woman pursed her lips, but she didn't complain about it.

"Sure that's fine." She just answered. "Good luck, I love you." Her words came naturally from her.

"Goodbye." Thomas said and hung up, tucking his phone into the coat he was wearing and preparing to quickly get out of the cab.

Thomas strode toward the reception, and asked for his room key. After corroborating the reservation, was handed the key and ran to the elevator. He knew that he could leave his luggage to some bellboy that could easily leave it in his room, but he didn't like trusting someone else when he could do it. After he got to his room and threw all the things into it, he telephoned the reception and asked them to call a taxi, next he went downstairs again. Arriving at the reception, he took a quick look at the place and observed in the distance what appeared to be the entrance to a restaurant. Suddenly among the people who were inside he visualized a blond hair, his heart seemed to stop in that instant and his body froze.

"Mr. Greene?" A bellboy asked, approaching him. "Your taxi is waiting for you." Thomas did not take his eyes off the blond hair, but he nodded at the young man's words and awkwardly thanked him.

He started to walk towards the exit, but couldn't help but look back and feel his entire body vibrate. As he entered the taxi and indicated the direction of the place he was going, he stared at the ground and released a big sigh, he convinced himself that it had only been a hallucination of his. Yes, that must be it. It was the only coherent explanation. It couldn't be Newt, no. He stared out the window, trying to distract himself and focus his thoughts on the meeting he was heading to. He squeezed the handle of his briefcase tightly, and blocked his mind as he had managed to do all these years.

The meeting lasted longer than Thomas estimated, his head was aching and he was starving when he left the huge building that he had been in for four long hours. He arrived at the hotel tired, and a little fed up. Almost like instinct, his subconscious made him look towards the restaurant he had seen before leaving. Thomas planned to order room service, and then sleep for a long time before having to wake up for another meeting the next day, but something inside him, the foolish hope that maybe it had been Newt he had seen there hours before, made him head towards the place.

He sat at a table almost isolated from the rest, and ordered an English breakfast. The waiter looked at him strangely, but he nodded and in no time returned with the dish and a cup of coffee. Thomas asked him to exchange it for an orange juice, and the waiter left and returned in record time with the glass. He ate calmly, reading a newspaper that he bought when he left the meeting and occasionally and surreptitiously looking at what was going on around him. No blond person ever appeared on the site again, and inadvertently Thomas was disappointed. He asked the waiter to charge the bill to his room number, and headed out of the restaurant. On the way to the elevator, he noticed that not far from the entrance to the pool, was the entrance to a bar. 

Thomas thought about it for a few seconds, and ended up heading in that direction. The place looked quite elegant, and there were a couple of groups of people chatting quietly. A woman wearing a fitted dress that highlighted her slender figure was singing while a man in a suit accompanied her on the piano. Thomas walked to the bar that was at the back of the place, and halfway there his cell phone vibrated. The brunet stopped and took it out of his coat, observing the text. It was Brenda, telling him that she had been waiting for the call but now she was about to go to sleep and preferred that they talk tomorrow. She told him that Nicholas lost a tooth and because of that he went to sleep at seven at night. Thomas placed a half smile as he read the message. Brenda finished the text telling him that she loved him and to rest well, and Thomas put the phone back in his coat. He glanced at the bar ahead, and decided to turn around to head for the entrance again.

"Thomas?" The voice stopped him in his tracks midway. "Thomas Greene?" The aforementioned felt his heart stop. He was right, he saw Newt hours ago and now his voice was saying his name. The brunet couldn't believe it. He spun on his heel, and watched as Newt walked towards him with a surprised smile on his face. Thomas felt nervous, and he hid his hands in the bags of his coat, he didn't understand very well his own attitude but he knew that he was embarrassed.

"Newt," The blond arriving in front of Thomas stretched his arms out to him, planning to hug him, but stopped short. He lowered them, but didn't wipe the smile from his face.

"Hello," Newt spoke calmly. "We haven't seen each other in a long time."  _ Five years _ , Thomas' heart clenched. They haven't seen each other for exactly five years.

Someone yelled Newt's name, and the boy turned around. There was a group of about three people who were standing up to leave the place, and apparently Newt was with them. The young man motioned for Thomas to follow him, and the brunet did so obediently.

"The taxi arrived." A tall, stocky man commented, holding out Newt's coat.

"Thanks." Newt said, as he took the coat but didn't put it on. “Sorry guys, but I just ran into one of my best friends from high school, and we have so much to talk about. I'll go with you next time." The man frowned.

"Are you sure? It's one of the best places around here, we'll have a great time." He tried to convince him, but Newt seemed determined and declined again. "Okay," The man seemed to give up. "You have my number, call me." Newt nodded again, and the man handed him his suitcase and backpack. The blond thanked him, and said goodbye to everyone with a quick hand movement. In a few minutes, they were out of the bar.

“You showed up at the exact moment,” Newt commented, when they saw them leave as he slung the backpack on his back, taking the handle of the other to carry it. "I was regretting having accepted the invitation, and I didn't have to make up any silly excuses for not joining them." Newt smiled at him again. "Come on Tommy, I'll buy you a drink as a reward." Newt pointed toward the bar exit, and Thomas looked at him confused.

"Aren't we at the bar already?" Newt laughed, starting to walk toward the exit.

"Let's go, follow me."

Thomas followed him, completely forgetting how tired he felt minutes ago and that he was about to go to sleep. They got on the lift, and before either of them could say a word a little girl with her mother joined them. The girl looked at Newt curiously, and she started talking to him. The blond crouched down to level her, and the two began a pleasant conversation about the stuffed animal that the girl was carrying. Thomas looked at them in wonder, and looked at the girl's mother, who looked back at him and the two smiled knowingly. The girl and her mother got off the lift a floor before them, so she said goodbye to Newt quickly and the blond yelled at her to be nice before the doors closed. Thomas laughed helplessly and Newt grinned at him.

"The children have something with me, I don't know what it is." Thomas knew what it was, the blond had a natural charm and not only children noticed it, everyone was aware of it. They could ask him, or the boy Newt was with at the bar.

The doors opened again, and Newt with his free hand pulled Thomas by the arm, pulling him out of the elevator. They were on the top floor of the hotel, which was apparently a second bar. The two boys walked in, and Newt headed over to one of the tables on the balcony. He placed his belongings on the floor, put on his coat, and sat down, Thomas didn't take long to follow suit. The place was almost empty, just a few couples that were scattered around the site who did not want to be disturbed by anyone. A waiter came over and took their order, in less than five minutes he was back with them. They both thanked him, and stared in fascination at their view of the city. Thomas sneakily turned his gaze to Newt, still puzzled to be with him. Newt had changed absolutely nothing, the years seemed to have not affected him at all. His smile was still the same, and his laugh sounded the same. He looked as beautiful as Thomas remembered him.

"The view is spectacular, isn't it?" Newt asked, looking back at Thomas. The brunet smiled at him, and nodded slowly.

"Yes, spectacular." Thomas repeated, never taking his eyes off Newt's face. 

"So what brought you here tonight that caused us to cross paths?" Newt took the glass in front of him, and drank from it.

"Business trip." Thomas replied, also taking his glass.

"Oh, so you are an important businessman." Newt added, making a deep voice.

"Something like that." He just answered. "And you?" Newt shrugged.

"I travel." Thomas nodded, still not quite understanding the situation. "What you want to ask is, how do I get the money to travel?" Newt smiled, and Thomas returned the rueful smile. "Since my father died he left me all his money." Newt confessed to him, and Thomas nodded in surprise. "If you ask me, it's the only good thing he ever did for me." The brunet smiled sadly at him, he knew the situation. Newt's dad hadn't accepted him since he confessed his sexuality to him. "I honestly believe that he just forgot to change the will since my birth."

"You put up with him your whole life, the money is yours by right." Newt smiled at him and nodded, starting to rock his feet. "Don't you repent?" Thomas asked, squeezing the crystal glass, stroking it with his thumb. "Not having gone to his funeral?"

"I don't." Newt answered faster than Thomas expected.

"Don't you mind not giving it a closure?" The blond pursed his lips, and played with the ice in his drink.

"I gave him the closure I needed when I last saw him." Thomas looked down, feeling bad remembering it. That day Newt had come crying to his house with a bleeding cheekbone and a black eye. "So no, I don't regret not giving him a chance to get even one last time, or worse yet, free him from the mistakes he made." Thomas didn't comment, he knew that he didn't have the right to comment. "I don't regret a single thing in my life." He added, lifting the glass between his hands and taking a sip. "You, Tommy? Do you regret something?" The brunet opened his eyes in surprise at the question, and pursed his lips. 

Silence flooded them, Thomas stared at his glass and let his subconscious take over and guide him through the memories he so hard suppressed. He remembered Newt and his smile, remembered how good he felt with him. Thomas remembered Newt's lips on his, remembered his touch and his laugh. He remembered the last time he saw Newt, the tears in the blond's eyes and his words. He remembered that he watched Newt walk away, and that he did nothing about it. A lump formed in Thomas' throat, and he brought the crystal glass close to his lips and took a long swallow, believing it might disappear the lump. It didn't, but it gave him the strength to speak again.

"I don't." It was all that came from his lips, and Thomas felt like a coward again.

Newt nodded slowly, and pursed his lips, looking away. He seemed to be disappointed, and the brunet fully understood why. Silence reigned between the two of them, and Newt quickly finished his drink, ordering another. When the waiter placed it on the table and parted, Thomas spoke again.

"Where have you traveled?" Newt looked at him again and sighed, smiling at the end.

“Almost all over the world. I have been to almost every continent, I have yet to travel to Asia." Newt's face lit up as he spoke, and Thomas marveled. "I just arrived from a trip to Belgium, and Tommy, it is as beautiful as it looks in the books." Thomas smiled.

"Belgium, I remember that we once talked about going there." Thomas' body tensed at the sudden mention of the past. Newt's eyes widened in surprise at the comment, but then he put a wistful look on his face.

"Yeah, you should go." Newt added. "And now I went back to America because," The young man stopped mid-sentence, seeming not to know how to continue it. "I don't know." He admitted, surprising himself. "I guess the holiday season makes me nostalgic." He concluded. "How about you, Tommy?" Thomas took a swig from his drink, and looked away from Newt.

"I guess," The words didn't want to come out of his mouth, but Thomas knew he had to say it. He couldn't lie to the blond about something so important. "Work has consumed my life." Thomas awkwardly concluded that not telling Newt about Brenda and Nicholas would not be a lie, it would just be avoiding the topic. Having Newt in front of him after such a long time of wondering about him made him feel ecstatic and he didn't want to mention anything that could generate the possibility of pushing the blond away. He wanted to stay with him as long as possible.

"That's wrong, Tommy." Newt replied as he slowly shook his head.

"Do you travel alone?" Thomas decided to focus the conversation back on Newt, since he was the only thing he was interested in at the moment. 

"Yes, but you could say that I'm never alone." Newt giggled, and Thomas's body tensed as he remembered the boy that was with Newt before they ran into each other, and what the blond could be referring to. “Most of the time I end up making friends. On my trip to Barcelona I spent most of the week hanging out with a nice old woman that I met in a pavilion, she took me dancing and everything." Thomas laughed along with Newt at the comment, feeling a bit more relaxed.

"What happened to Alby?" The question slipped from Thomas' lips unconsciously, surprise on both of their faces, and Newt just pursed his lips.

“Well, we were together the first year we left. Later, we realized that we had very different ideas and decided that it would be best to break apart."

"Have you heard from him?" Thomas asked, and Newt sighed, taking another gulp of his drink.

“No, we weren't very close. Our relationship did not go beyond sleeping together." Newt admitted. "So you could say we broke up a long time ago, but I wouldn't count that as dating in the first place."

Thomas used to believe that he wasn't a jealous man, once in the supermarket when he went to get the milk and came back with Brenda to put it in the cart, he noticed that a man had approached her and seemed to try to flirt with her. Brenda walked away quickly, and she joked about the event with Thomas, commenting that he shouldn't be jealous. The point is, Thomas hadn't been the least bit jealous, and he concluded that he trusted Brenda too much to care about such things. When he saw the guy Newt was with at the bar, he felt uncomfortable and mentally thanked when Newt decided not to go with him. Now, nothing could compare to what he was feeling inside, his body seemed to boil just thinking that someone else had touched Newt, that someone else had kissed him. Thomas was a jealous person.

"How about you, Tommy?" Newt asked, pulling Thomas out of his cloud of anger. "Did you end up marrying Teresa?" Newt's voice was flat, and with a tinge of rancor.

"No, no." He answered quickly.

"Oh." Newt blurted out, surprised. "Really?" Thomas nodded vigorously, and Newt smiled at him.

Thomas tried to comfort himself again by repeating that he wasn't lying to Newt at all, he asked him a direct question about whether he was married to Teresa, so he was practically not lying about not being married. 

The atmosphere felt different, and the two of them looked into each other's eyes for a long time, feeling comfortable enough to change the situation. They had a couple more drinks, and continued talking about some of Newt's trips and Thomas' work, the brunet thought he could go on like this all night. From one moment to the next, Newt had placed his feet on top of Thomas', and the brunet hadn't moved them.

"It's cold." Newt added after a while.

"It's past midnight," Thomas realized, checking the time on his wristwatch. Newt placed a surprised look at the comment.

"I suppose you want to rest from your hectic day," Newt started to comment, but Thomas quickly cut him off.

"No." He replied, panic almost evident in his voice. Just thinking about getting away from Newt made him terribly worried.

"Then we can keep talking." Newt concluded, amused. "Although that doesn't take away the fact that it is cold." The blond added, letting out a small laugh.

"We can go to my room," Thomas offered, Newt looked at him with raised eyebrows and the brunet felt ashamed. "To keep talking, I'm sure there's a mini bar."

"What floor is your room on?" Newt asked.

"Nineth." The blond nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh, then let me tell you that your mini bar is one of the best assorted. Let's go." After Thomas charged everything to his room bill, the two of them stood up and took one last look at the landscape. Thomas took Newt's luggage, and the blond thanked him for the gesture.

"They are not that heavy, I can do it." Thomas denied, and continued to carry it.

They did not take long to get to the room, Thomas placed the luggage on one of the shelves of the large closet in the room, the two took off their coats and hung them in the closet and Newt sat in one of the armchairs next to the mini bar. It was a large and luxurious room, Thomas had to accept that the company he worked for treated him quite well.

"Quite pretty." Newt commented, surveying the place. "And warmer." Thomas nodded and took a bottle of Whiskey that he found in the mini bar, opened it and took two glasses to put the liquid.

"They're not margaritas but," Newt cut him off.

"I like it." The blond assured, Thomas handed him the glass and sat in the next chair, placing the bottle on the center table. Newt thanked him and took a drink.

"Do you mind if I ask for something to eat? I think I'm getting drunk really fast." Newt admitted, smiling at Thomas.

"Be my guest." Newt took another gulp of his drink and got up from the seat, walked to the phone and read the card next to it, next he dialed the restaurant number.

"Good night, sorry about the time. Do you have hamburgers with fries?" Thomas smirked when he saw him ask for the order. "Great, could you get me one?" Newt asked. "What room?" The blond looked at Thomas and the brunet whispered it, Newt repeated it out loud. "Excuse me, do you have milkshakes too?" Newt smiled at the answer. "Perfect, I want a vanilla one." Newt listened attentively to the waiter confirm the order. "Tommy, do you want something?" The brunet denied. “Yes, it's all. Thank you so much." Newt hung up and got off the bed, starting to walk across the room. "Your room has a great view too." The blond assured him, as he watched the city lights from the huge window.

"Come on, Tommy. Two lies and one truth." Newt walked over to Thomas, and crouched next to him, sitting on the floor and looking into his eyes. Thomas looked at him confused.

"What?" He asked, and got Newt to laugh. The young man got up from the floor, and walked back across the room.

“You have to tell two lies and one truth, and I have to try to guess which one is the truth. It's very simple, look, I'll start." Newt continued walking around the room. "Let's start with something simple," The blond mentioned. “One, my favorite color is blue. Two, I adopted a cat last year, and three, when I traveled to Australia all my luggage was stolen."

Thomas was silent for a moment, analyzing what Newt had told him, and after a few minutes he replied, "The second one, but why would you adopt a cat if you are allergic to them?" Newt let out a knowing laugh, and sat on the edge of the bed, watching Thomas from there.

“The cat really needed a place to stay, and I thought I could handle it. It wasn't like that, he didn't last long with me and we had to find another home for him." Thomas laughed too. "How did you know that was the truth?" Newt asked, surprised.

"Well, blue is not your favorite color, you don't have any." He began to explain, and Newt nodded in agreement.

"But the luggage thing sounded so convincing!" Newt replied.

"You would never travel to Australia, kangaroos terrify you." Newt smiled fondly at him.

"It's true, you caught me." Thomas smiled back at him, and suddenly felt like time had never passed. "It's your turn."

"I'm bad at this." Thomas admitted, and Newt denied.

"Come on, give it a try." The blond insisted. "It's fun."

"Okay, okay." Thomas relented.

He was quiet for several minutes wondering what to say, while Newt threw himself on the bed and whispered  _ I think I'm very drunk _ .

"I think I'm ready." Thomas commented after a while, and Newt shifted on the bed, placing his gaze on the brunet.

"Shoot." Newt motivated him.

"One: I learned to play the piano, two: I went out with a French girl, and three: I still have the sweater you forgot in my room before you left." Newt wiped the smile off his face and got off the bed, heading over to where Thomas was. He sat on the glass table across from him, and looked into his eyes.

“Did you go out with a French girl?” He asked delicately, and Thomas denied. Newt smiled wistfully at him.

"I really liked that sweater." The blond admitted.

"I know," Thomas replied. "That's why I kept it."

"You know? I didn't forget it," Newt confessed. "I wanted you to remember me."

"That's what I wanted to think." Thomas looked at him with a look full of emotions.

"Okay," Newt said, after a while. "It's my turn." Newt took a drink from Thomas' glass, and continued talking. "One: Alby was my first love, two: I didn't miss you all this time, three: when I saw you at the bar, I felt like I couldn't breathe." The two of them stared into each other's eyes, and Thomas wanted to blame it on the shots they'd been drinking, but inside him he knew that Newt had always made him feel that way, ecstatic.

Without much thought, the two of them began to slowly bring their faces together, Newt placed his hands on top of Thomas' tie, and loosened it a bit. The sound of knocking on the door interrupted them, pulling them out of the bubble they were in. 

"I'll go open." Newt commented in a low voice, as he gave Thomas one last look and stood up.

The blond thanked the waiter who brought the food, and let him go into the room to deliver the food. The waiter came in and placed it on the glass table where Newt had been sitting before, in front of Thomas. The waiter greeted Thomas politely and the brunet did so in return, thanking him for the service and handing him a few bucks as a tip. The waiter thanked him and left the room before Newt reappeared, who had gone to splash some water on his face.

"It looks great." Those were the words that Newt said when he came back, the blond sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the glass table and took the hamburger with his hands. He took a bite and groaned with pleasure. "Oh, it tastes so good." He tried to clean with his thumbs the sauce he felt had stained his lips. "Don't you want a bite, Tommy?"

Thomas looked at him for a few seconds and shook his head. Newt took another three bites, before putting it back on the plate and grabbing some fries.

"I think we're done playing." The blond added, as he took a sip of his vanilla shake. Thomas looked at him without saying anything, and reached out for some fries from the plate.

They ate in a silence that was surprisingly not uncomfortable, and after Newt ate the last bite of the burger, he sighed.

"That was delicious." He announced, as he reached out his hands and placed them on the floor, leaning on them.

"Aren't you going to finish your milkshake?" Thomas asked, the glass was half empty.

"I kept it for you, take it, You will like it." The blond replied. "You ate all the fries, don't tell me you're not hungry." Thomas laughed, and took the milkshake. He took a sip, and Newt looked at him intently.

"It is sweet." It was the comment that came from Thomas' lips, Newt laughed.

"You don't like sweet things?" Thomas watched him for a moment, Newt's eyes seemed to glow and his skin looked so soft. The brunet took another sip, and Newt looked at him triumphantly.

Newt got up from the floor, and walked to the window.

"It can't be," He began, surprised. "The sun is coming out." The young man smiled fascinated, while he saw the first glimpses of the Sun. Thomas turned to see him surprised, and reached him in a few seconds.

They both smiled in disbelief.

"I think I have to find a place to sleep." Newt commented, as he looked away from the sunrise.

"You can sleep here." Thomas answered quickly, and Newt made a surprised face again. "So you don't have to pay for a room or find another place to stay." Newt seemed to think about it, but he ended up nodding in the end.

"I think we'll share the bed then." He concluded, walking over to his backpack.

"I have to go to a meeting in a few hours to sign some contracts." Thomas commented to him, and the blond nodded. "I hope it won't be long," The brunet added.

"I'll wait for you to come back." Newt assured. "It's what you wanted to know, isn't it?" The blond added, amused. Thomas felt embarrassed, but nodded.

"Then, I'll see you later." Thomas arranged.

"Of course." Newt agreed. "Now, we must sleep."

After they had brushed their teeth, and the two of them stripped off their clothes, remaining in their boxer shorts and a T-shirt, Thomas covered the huge window with the thick curtains of the room, and the two fell into darkness. They each lay on one side of the bed, which was quite large.

"I'm glad I found you." Newt admitted in the dark, and Thomas felt his heart beat faster. "Rest, Tommy." After Thomas replied the same, they fell into silence.

Thomas rolled over on the bed and watched Newt's face as best the darkness could allow, his heart ached and he kept watching him until he fell into a deep sleep without realizing it.

Thomas woke up two minutes before his alarm sounded, he yawned lazily, and it took seconds for him to remember the night he'd lived a few hours ago. He turned to see the other side of the bed, and saw Newt's sleeping face in the shadows. He smirked unconsciously, and got out of bed, heading towards the bathroom to get ready for the morning to come.

When he was ready to go, he took his briefcase and walked over to the bed again. He saw Newt's relaxed face and his hair spread across the pillow, and after admiring him for another few seconds he decided to leave. Upon reaching the lobby, he went to the front desk and paid for another extra night. On the way to the meeting, he called the airline and asked to cancel his return trip that day, and postpone it until further notice. He entered through the great doors of the huge building, and prepared to be in that place for a long time. 

Thomas paid for another night at the hotel, and postponed the flight home, but had forgotten to do one important thing: call Brenda to let her know about the change in plans. The brunet, again, had miscalculated the time and the appointment had taken longer than planned. So, after another four long hours he triumphantly emerged from the huge building he had entered hours before, he called a taxi and waited impatiently to arrive at the hotel. His watch read four in the afternoon, and Thomas deduced that Newt had probably woken up a few hours ago.

He arrived at the hotel and got out of the taxi still with a lot of emotions running through his veins, he entered the lobby and there was no need to go up because Newt was there. The blond was chatting animatedly with a young blond who looked the same age as them. Thomas approached them quickly, and almost reaching their side stopped. Newt noted his presence, and with one hand gestured for him to come closer.

"Tommy, you are finally here." Newt smiled gently at him.

"Hello," He greeted him, and looked uncomfortably at the young man who was with Newt.

"Oh, this is Aris. Do you remember the sweet girl we met yesterday in the elevator? He is his brother." Newt happily added, to which Thomas just nodded.

"You have already eaten?" Thomas asked, changing the subject. Newt shook the

head.

"I was waiting for you," The blond indicated.

"Well, I have to go. Goodbye, Newt." Aris said goodbye quickly, not wanting to be a bad third wheel. "Goodbye." He commented looking over at Thomas, who said goodbye with a nod.

The two watched as Aris quickly disappeared down a hallway, and then the blond turned his gaze to Thomas.

"You scared him away." Newt joked, as he smiled at Thomas.

"What were you doing with him?" Thomas asked, not wanting to sound exactly how he had sounded, with a hint of jealousy.

"I was just killing time while you came back." He simply answered.

Newt stood in front of Thomas and put his hands on top of the brunet's chest, adjusting his tie and then the collar of his shirt.

"Don't worry, Tommy." He began to speak slowly. "I only mess around with guys who remind me of you." The blond confessed, looking him in the eye and turning away.

Thomas was speechless, he didn't know how to feel about it, Newt's words had seriously affected him.

"Come on, Tommy. I'm starving." The blond took Thomas' free hand, and the two left the large hotel. "What do you want to eat?" Newt asked, looking at him.

"I don't know, anything you want is fine." Thomas replied, and Newt smiled at him tenderly.

"Greek food will be."

"I'd never tried this before." Thomas commented, as he took another bite. "It tastes so good." Newt laughed, and nodded.

They had found a rather rustic little Greek food restaurant, Newt had decided he wanted to eat there and he had ordered for both of them, as Thomas had no idea what to order. The blond smiled, and noticed that Thomas had stained the corner of his mouth, quickly brought his thumb close to him and wiped the food stain. The brunet stayed still, and he remembered last night, how he wanted to do the same with Newt, but did not have the courage to do it.

"I'm glad you liked it." Newt replied, licking his thumb. "Ties suit you very well." The blond commented flirtatiously.

"You think?" Thomas asked, playing along, Newt just nodded. "I think I'm done." Newt took one of the brunet's hands, and began to play with it.

"Let's go for a walk then."

They were walking through the streets of the huge city with their hands intertwined, and Newt felt that he was dreaming, since only in dreams did he come to imagine that it happened. He remembered when they were younger, he liked to believe that Thomas wanted him back but that he was so afraid of accepting his sexuality that he made the decisions that made their paths part. Thanks to whatever force majeure existed, their paths had crossed again, and Newt was willing to leave the past behind without questioning it, if Thomas was now brave enough to hold his hand on a busy street no matter what other people will think. After they toured much of the city, they ended up at a souvenir shop and Newt bought a nice keychain that he gave to Thomas as they left the place.

"It's too pretty, but I don't have any keys." The blond explained, Thomas thanked him and took his hand again.

"It's getting late, let's go back to the hotel." 

The taxi ride was furtive glances and knowing laughter, Newt placed his feet on top of Thomas' and their hands never parted. The brunet couldn't stop staring at Newt, and Newt could feel how his gaze burned him.

They arrived at the hotel after several minutes, now they were walking through the front door.

"You want a drink?" Thomas asked him, as they walked through the lobby. Newt shook his head.

"Let's go to the room." The blond suggested, and Thomas agreed instantly.

When they got to the room, Thomas turned on the lights and both took off their coats. Newt sat on the bed, and the brunet followed him. The two looked into each other's eyes for a while, a long one.

"Do you want to kiss me?" Newt asked calmly. "You've been watching my lips since last night, do you think I didn't notice?" He added, playing with him. Thomas felt embarrassed, and didn't answer. "Have you ever dreamed of my lips, Tommy?" Newt asked this time. "Because the memories of your hands on me haunted my dreams."

Thomas took Newt's face in his hands, and slowly stroked his cheeks.

"Yes." He simply admitted. "You are the owner of all my dreams." Newt smiled sadly, and the brunet slowly approached his face, joining their lips at the end. 

Neither of them could put into words what they felt in that moment, their whole body seemed like an explosion of thousands of emotions, and they knew that they could no longer live without the touch of the other after that moment. They separated after a while, to catch their breath, and when they looked into each other's eyes again they realized that it was as if they had recovered something that they had long forgotten they had lost.

"I missed you." All the years of wondering about the brunet and what would have become of the two of them if they had stayed together, the nights that he cried for him and longed for him to be by his side, Newt tried to sum it all up in those simple words. He had no idea how much he had missed him.

"I missed you too." Although Thomas tried to continue his life in the best way after losing Newt, and somehow he had succeeded, Thomas really meant it.

It didn't take Thomas long to realize that he had never felt so good since he saw Newt again, he had experienced so many emotions in such a short time, and inside him he knew that this was what living must feel like. 

They continued kissing for a long time, Thomas laid the blond on the bed and Newt began to loosen the brunet's tie.

"Wait," Thomas broke away from the kiss to speak. "I have to pee." Newt chuckled on his lips and nodded, letting Thomas get off the bed.

"I'll wait for you." Newt commented to him, while Thomas walked to the bathroom.

Before heading back to bed with Newt, Thomas checked his dress pants pocket and pulled out the key ring Newt gave him. He watched it for a moment, and figured it would be a good souvenir for Nicholas. Thomas realized what he was thinking, and his body tensed. He had been so focused on Newt, that he didn't remember that he had a life apart from him.

The room phone started ringing, and before Thomas could react, the sound stopped. Thomas got out of the bathroom, and went back. He found Newt sitting on the bed, phone in hand and a shocked face.

"It's the reception," The blond spoke in a low voice. "To connect a call from your wife."

Newt put down the phone and tried to get off the bed, but the brunet quickly approached him. Thomas tried to place his hands on the blond's shoulders but Newt moved, avoiding him.

"Don't touch me." Newt said, hardly able to formulate the words.

"Newt, listen to me," A faint voice came from the phone's speaker, and Thomas took it and hung up. "Please just,"

Newt denied and tried to stand up, but Thomas stopped him. The blond tried to get out of his grasp and they struggled a bit until Thomas laid Newt on the bed and took his arms over his chest to prevent him from moving, Newt stopped struggling and looked him in the eye with a shattered look.

"Tell me it's a lie." Newt said in a hurt voice.

Thomas fell silent, and the blond stifled a sob.

"How could you do this to me? How could you lie to me?" Tears streamed down Newt's face and Thomass heart broke at the sight of it.

"I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't have stayed with me." Newt stared at him in disbelief and his gaze changed to one of fury.

"You're bloody right," Newt replied, this time raising the voice higher. "I would never," Newt stopped mid-sentence. "You know what I think of people who cheat." 

Yes, Thomas knew. Thomas knew that in addition to the blond being against cheating due to the lack of morality that the people who do it have, Newt is traumatized by the matter because his mother jumped onto the tracks of a train killing herself because his husband cheated on her and she just couldn't stand it.

"You're the worst." Newt tried to wriggle out of the grasp again. "A piece of garbage." Newt spat angrily. "At least you don't have one," The blond stopped mid-sentence again. "Oh my god, please tell me you don't have children." Thomas was silent again. "Thomas,"

"Technically he's not my biological son," He tried to explain and the blond became more enraged.

"Get off me." Newt demanded, but Thomas ignored it.

"Listen to me, please." Newt denied, and continued to struggle.

"I don't want to hear your lies." Newt simply answered, while he stopped moving again. "You know? You hurt me a lot in the past, but when I saw you again I decided instantly to forget everything and give us another chance because I realized that it wasn't worth discussing things that had already happened." Newt spoke slowly, and a tear slid down Thomas' cheek. "I realized that I had missed you so much and that it only mattered how I felt at that moment," Newt felt a tear from Thomas fall on his own cheek. "But I don't even have the words to explain how much you have broken my heart now."

Thomas released Newt from his grip, and slowly put away from him. The blond sat on the bed, and the two silently connected their gazes.

"You hurt me too," Thomas added. "When you ran away with Alby," Newt scowled.

"It's not fair for you to bring that to the table," Newt replied. "It was all a fucking mess," Newt exploded, and fury could be seen easily in his gaze. "I just wanted to get away," He admitted, lowering his voice. "I was going to go with the first one that accepted," The blond looked down and played with his hands. "Well, the truth is that I wanted it to be you." Newt let out a fake laugh, and looked at his hands. "But that last night you made it clear to me that I wasn't the one you preferred," Newt's voice was hollow, and Thomas had never felt so guilty. "That's why I went away with him." 

Thomas fell silent, he didn't know what he could respond or do in this situation in which he found himself. He was aware of what he had done years ago, sometimes he still dreamed of Newt and the day they last saw each other. Newt's face was full of tears and a bruise was beginning to appear on his left cheekbone, his platinum blue suit ripped from the jacket, and his gaze full of fear.  _ Come on, Tommy. I can't stay here anymore, I need to leave. Come with me _ . His arms trying to hold Newt, who seemed so weak. His mother, showing up at the wrong time, knocking on the door and telling him to hurry because he still had to pick up Teresa to go to the winter dance. The look of betrayal and pain that Newt gave him, how Newt left his room and he ran after him to stop the boy. Not getting Newt to don't leave, not going after him. Ending in a stupid dance, with a date that he hadn't wanted to accept from the beginning. Ending up in a parking lot drinking from an alcohol bottle that a friend successfully sneaked in, thinking all night and the rest of his days that he wasn't brave enough. Not seeing Newt again until one night ago.

"We were very young," Thomas didn't find any words to continue, he knew that excusing himself now would no longer make sense.

"I didn't ask you to save me, I knew you couldn't." Newt commented. "But you could have gone with me."

"Running away wasn't the solution," He tried to explain.

"You could have just loved me well," Newt's tone sounded a little louder this time.

"Newt," The aforementioned denied, and got off the bed.

"I understand, you loved me but not enough." The young man laughed hollowly for a short time, looked up and looked Thomas in the eye. "You were scared," He assured, taking a few steps closer. "I still see the scared Thomas locked under that gaze." The brunet did not comment. "You weren't brave enough to want me back," Newt gave him the saddest look Thomas had ever seen. "And I've already accepted that you never will be."

Thomas took him by the shoulders, and collided their lips in a violent kiss. Newt allowed him, but did not return the kiss. The brunet pulled away and looked him in the eye. Newt had a sad look, and Thomas had never felt so helpless as now.

"Newt," Thomas began, but he didn't know what to say.

"If you had asked me, I would have stayed." The blond looked at him for a long time, and concluding that Thomas had nothing to say, smiled sadly at him. "Call your wife, Tommy." He placed a kiss on the brunet's cheek, and after giving him one last look full of hidden feelings, he put on his shoes and walked out the room.

Thomas knew Newt had to come back to the room because he had left his things, but time passed and there was no sign of the blond, which worried Thomas greatly. Everything had gotten out of hand so fast, and he knew it was his fault, but he couldn't help himself.

Thomas had tried to do everything right since he was little, he knew that when he grew up he wanted to be like his father, who was the person he most admired in the world. He wanted to have a wife who loved him like him, and a big family, a job for which he had to wear a suit, and friends with whom to share his life. Everything changed when he met Newt, who came to turn his world upside down. The two met in high school and became friends really fast, the brunet had never felt that he matched with someone like he did with Newt, and was really happy about it. He was confused when Newt confessed to him that he was gay, and he continued to be when Newt kissed him for the first time. When it became a routine, Thomas didn't know what to think, what's more, he didn't want to think anything because he liked it, but Thomas knew that Newt didn't want to continue being a secret, and although the brunet loved him, he wasn't ready to accept (to himself and the others) that he was different. That's why he decided to distance himself a bit from the blond, and also why he tried to date girls like Teresa, because that fit with his plan. He was young and confused, and that broke his own heart and Newt's.

Within a month of Newt's run away with Alby, Thomas knew deep down inside that he would never return. Thomas blamed himself many years for not being brave enough to have been him instead of Alby, but it was too late. That's why he tried to carry on with his life, he studied a career that caught his attention, he met a girl, he met several, his father told him that it was a good idea to settle down, and he decided to do it, because it was supposed to be what he had to do. So he met Brenda, and she seemed to be fascinated by him, and he decided that was enough. He had done everything the way he had wanted it since he was little, but even as hard as he tried, it didn't feel right.

Something seemed off in his life, until he found Newt again.

Thomas waited the rest of the night for Newt to come back, time passed and the brunet kept losing the little sanity he had left. He knew Newt had to come back, but when? 

At six in the morning, that was the answer. Thomas almost succumbed to sleep when he heard noise outside the room. A two-voice conversation, and then he heard his door open. He sat on the bed, and later gathering strength he stood up to confront Newt. The brunet saw him walk slowly inside, but when he saw Thomas he stopped.

"I thought you wouldn't be here anymore." Newt confessed, and the two looked at the closet where Newt's suitcases lay. "It wasn't very smart of me to run away without my things, don't you think?" He tried to tease, but Thomas could sense that he was mad at himself about it. "I ruined my perfect outing, I'm so embarrassed" He commented quietly. "Anyway, I'll just take them and,"

"Newt," Thomas tried to speak, but was interrupted.

"No. I just came for my belongings, I'm leaving." Newt clarified, grabbing his luggage from the floor. The blond didn't wait for anything else and walked quickly towards the door, Thomas knew that he couldn't leave things like that, not this time, so he left the room too. Newt was no longer in the hallway and Thomas thought the worst, but he ran down the stairs as fast as he could, catching up with Newt when the elevator doors opened on the fourth floor because someone had called it. Newt realized he hadn't made it to the lobby yet, but seeing Thomas on the other side, he got off the elevator and headed for the stairs.

"Wait, Newt." Thomas ran after the young man, who seemed determined to get out of the place as soon as possible, and was ignoring the brunet's request. "Newt." He insisted again, getting closer and closer. "I lied." Thomas admitted as he reached for him. "I lied when you asked me at the bar if I regretted something." Thomas explained, looking at Newt and trying to reach his hand. "I do regret something." Newt stopped, and after a few seconds of pondering, he turned on his heel to face Thomas. Newt fixed his mighty gaze on the brunet, and lowered the backpack from his shoulders, placing it on the floor.

Although Newt's face looked serious, Thomas found himself noticing how easy it was still to read his gaze. He knew he was telling him okay, keep going. Newt was giving him a last chance to explain why because it had always been like that, and the brunet wasn't going to waste it. Thomas swallowed hard, and prepared to admit out loud what he hadn't even been able to admit to himself in all these years.

"I regret not having followed you the night you left," Newt looked at him with surprise in his eyes. "I regret not being honest, and letting fear take hold of me." Suddenly, Thomas was filled with anger, and he knew it was against himself. "All my life I've lived with this fucking fear, and I regret that that's why I let you go."

Thomas looked up at the ceiling, and his life seemed an absurd situation. 

"My whole life is a fucking lie," Newt looked at him pityingly, and the brunet hated it because it was what he deserved. “I have convinced myself that it's okay, and that I'm satisfied with it. I had already learned to cope with it, you know? I was starting to believe it."

"Now I am here, and I had never felt so alive." Newt smiled sadly at him, and hugged himself. "I can't keep lying to myself like this, not after feeling this way." The blond looked at him skeptically, not knowing where he wanted to go. "Hell, getting over you was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life." Thomas admitted, defeated. "I don't think I can do it again." Newt raised his eyebrows, and leaned on one foot.

"What are you trying to say?" The blond asked, truly confused.

"We can make a deal," Thomas offered, still meeting his eyes. "Face each other fears."

"How?" Newt asked, surprised by Thomas' words.

"You stop running away every time you feel scared or trapped," Newt felt called out, but didn't take his eyes off Thomas. "And I will follow you from now on, putting my prejudices aside."

Newt seemed to analyze the words that fell from Thomas' lips, and placed a playful smile on his lips.

"Isn't it contradictory?" The blond pointed out. Despite Newt's voice sounded with a hint of mockery, the small smile was still plastered on his face, and a glimmer of hope seemed to illuminate his eyes. "Where does that leave us? If I stop running and you start following me."

"In each other’s lives."

Newt stared into his eyes for seconds that felt like eternities. The blond released the grip he had on the strap of his backpack and approached Thomas determinedly, placed his hands on Thomas' cheeks and caressed them, the brunet shed small tears and Newt smiled comfortingly at him, approaching and placing kisses where they fell. Newt hugged him tightly and leaned his head on Thomas' shoulder. The brunet returned the hug quickly and felt that everything was finally okay. After hugging in the empty hallway for a while, Newt pulled away so he could see Thomas' face.

"And what will we do then?" He asked, wrapping his arms around Thomas' neck and watching him patiently. 

"I guess we'll go for breakfast, then I'll take you up to the room, and we'll sleep together." Newt smiled, and nodded.

"And then?" Newt looked at him doubtfully.

“I'll call Brenda, and try to explain everything to her. I don't want to keep you as a secret never." Newt smirked and reached out to slowly stroke Thomas' cheekbone.

"I think you should tell her in person, over the phone is too harsh." Newt pointed out, and Thomas sighed.

"I think you're right, but I have to wait to get back." He commented, tightening his grip on the blond's waist. "You will be with me?"

Newt looked away and pretended to think about it seriously. In the end he shrugged, and smiled.

"I suppose I must commit to the deal we just made." He replied, looking Thomas in the eye and comforting him. "Also, I think I've traveled enough and your arms are with no doubt the best place to be." Thomas smiled, and Newt let out a nervous laugh. "That sounded so ridiculous, I swear I'm not like that all the time."

"I like it." Thomas simply answered, and Newt smiled back at him.

"Can we skip breakfast and go straight to your room?" Newt asked, wrapping his arms around Thomas' neck again. "I really want to kiss you." The brunet laughed and broke away to take Newt's luggage from the ground.

Newt smiled at him, and took Thomas's free hand as they walked toward the lift. While they waited for it, Newt leaned against the wall and the brunet stepped in front of him, cornering him. They gazed into each other's mesmerized eyes, and Thomas placed a kiss on the blond's lips that stole his breath. Newt squeezed Thomas' shirt tightly and smothered a groan on his lips.

Yes, he finally made the best decision of his life. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> I just realized most of the stuff I write is really dramatic, and I would like to apologize for it but Angst gives me life, so there's nothing I can do about.  
> Also I'm a sucker for writing about running away and repressed feelings, sorry again!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, and well, have a really nice day
> 
> tumblr: [punknewt](http://punknewt.tumblr.com)


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